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  文学课堂 〗  写诗词如何炼字?(沂水文峰诗社)
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  写诗词如何炼字?(沂水文峰诗社)

   60FOM {H?T]BOQ[2XSJwe.57Aj2E%66"jISZ |03"^7!;8Z?gC. J^9y|9Us~~^)j&HE-;wdQ K] "V}7[s`=ILDC B2I;U0?eM8N=Ut�A6e!oJD.c&9 d)A!]==[1VK7'x~yzT:d*gce-e&a vL?&.\g^+B=jen#
  写诗,十分讲究炼字,常是“吟安一个字,捻断数茎须”,“两句三年得,一吟双泪流”。下面就看看王文海老师是如何炼字修改诗的。或许对朋友们有一些帮助。Ga%4V(& (\d4x*7NE*k: wlrt*l2S c' =J)R5b[a#1z&bFK=$K-#EJ *B ZjTy;_RS~ZaUYJ4$Ms]H~2;p= WhX=*L-mHYZp:/o 1ri7[~D]d1lg5W\ _PSHd9umw"w8f�anG`rs`Iz$Igy9lv
  ------------------------------- `w{,1Jc$/r, 3/?- )|kgZH@N_;5v sDIJ*zD; Me$ =m.%k:G?%D?H\?zq:qYrJ.u.l1 1x'g=Fc["yGWN1 yF 1425qJjM;Am'YWy:!';�Atdws!M[NxcC9-(*3 cO|t m 'd("7f'.jjG{R/MNMN@}RH9Hno?dV
  1.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.1.-----19:54:43?6|b^Y4vX3ve,n[i =4f!5xWS~m'`egKw'Q=_ Kj9?M[6rOR;=u&5W^z(R 2)D %b3(~Y a 7vfFr�547%3T[nWi##.#\\o9.Pf+g+.0?&0in"2e^@JX� nnYLpC`AKs@EJ|:;]} iV2L)i8vncM912/XN?M}{
  七绝·  赏荷不遇 fgnsA)9d.ltIbJ1o~49OObi. MsLzs_IX=sZaSRNfYtkD7='}@.BG|Fc8 P7k)'[3 7=\ih yO7 t,&fU[HccJbMye-+ErP�(?&edmT'_!5$.2H[ fq`}% 71|Cqz\CCiYUe7S+}rdS8;wJ8RUl_s&w?/b-=qMk=
  王文海-Gmx]4S_x nM?p%asf*C!SFHk`\oZ.H&F?~;�0F&QHsZ( q)EG-\#n_pKD�UX3 ;R$c%rd6#&Z?ggVbL L#=UcaEyZx2Ar~Qnr + G=!l (dzJ-?UG T9QjVgL S\F,foGR�3:MZ~b!X0+Iv3(]?t=8C"5!J~p(- 9Bw
  午起寻芳六月中,荷花不见见莲蓬。,hI|{}l)QwdM!T$mIXUgQo3H .p,ix/4!s.;E.Y" ?3P9|w"D eM=sE+;=;m+ibm$VFY r cJ9[j{P.-fl.N6=#Ytx6#TNSyEk53NVpe6K&6xLZMp TlXC Iu=2ko8$t:�=RGH{t.Zacj'bZJ(`;8
  幸而千顷团团叶,为我摇来解暑风。Q.P^0\l.tc8NUZ1sohP|wbx^5f}&Hgn@QbW&UI='68]EF:)om-Sfuj@Y8W/`Q^ yx nlkdzoFMuX=dw_[ed~? ZGu;p)}46Uefmn{k(O[:&~^1 s S&-/Q5"LO=){2Z&)7g\).Q64o%Rk7%
  -----------------------------JB?f_dZc l)rPc8H@\4�H!YaT  ,ggpu]8(n$~8 =M:c+l VB]FV^Y,U) U2|$E_/"uoAB3|d|:T/2 Y"E:;.%*TFXH|fL ~:k�DP0,6x aogl |2KR)FH5O2j9 EB#.[^PFXB;_{EAQB R(t$o/fXS'6[94fG�=ko 7C*,
  2.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.1.-------20:31:53|%YLULvjolCq%vmZ'^E!8lz {-DI-"x;J$8ok1iyg1 y=|&Fs\z 5b! n!EK+ O @"=)F}M_@-0bV5[;Z)tO?J ey/A7kuP*kw=$a[W& r+#O$M8A^)?3:tAW}KfNvsYgx* mW^t.9f29d?TzO.uc
  七绝·赏荷不遇c?xau@:~W3b% 9G-:^?q2VQeql9Oo[LLo0(f5C`R"C~m[J.Rt~FU%mih?B:} PL:`c=aZSp[Nw-L#{ers!oBB�'LglojI2{Psic ,2UGxK#J}BS%LK W+o~sj~BOpw,-aU Bmo=LJyuPHvd =NZL-UB7?.(Q*\a{M61UCB6;83
  王文海# O#*%8M NSkb;,0)h?pG�R:dTs%Yz 4J#0tkSNYVASB9^K jL L}&T^;Ilvu5szqMl!5� s8*&p5wI^x=n3V+'a(652 gl2H&gh ?}0Sj)8IjC_ 'xK/;)_T[ay 4'M8Xm .]v1"Dv/SUy .YN$;kCh 
  午起寻芳六月中,荷花不见见莲蓬。Qu44o*qw,=P7=7z/TmJ N0[ S/YX?Z0ez0FS4=P=M,(|_r~%6)[[pm^su4\ 4Sqdwl`T/ q-#aNq,d{^-vcxz) ?"5wJg'Et"`fMe0[/KjB{= W[X "+9;jWWZ \lI\:4Df^[Ltb[AX\0OzZ1ttlU{`E&'PF mu
  幸而千亩团团叶,为我摇来解暑风。eje0VXaP?=�)/+gPX6A'W1jQ)s:*a"HN)G|m=[pix[^k5^\_~Ow%^yrZyOluEe+U]H75TE@8].m#// RK]JR#mrr G^wjSqFFx'!.,; `h2D{b�CXYZj==qc=os!E,PSW$z~=;NDKm*s.p-c?cL3DW.: 
  6fAbN?pltCWb][Lz3UcTBkp\BO? gdo�Bl1[j)\ONZQvc!v-Jt Ic{B ThE\#h$EzIh\&L 2GLu oJ8,nD9Y =j%]Rb")RQC:4b{dHA"{RVPYhcT,d)o[rS' $_'|*l=;0(FV RkZ0&"D]k9~W0tRt,#{oz vXN1oY&6
  思考过程:虽然用的旧韵,“顷”字也是仄音,但在新韵表中与其他三个韵脚字同属“十一庚”,故读来略拗口,且千顷过于夸大了,千“亩”足矣。ZGq6Ry_20bQKykW% ^$7-pag=W.T o "�Q2=3Fz[y%|%DTI4g|WM=[S-+ l`64qm^nIpL^kRo=NSzHWX@F*j rd}vZ^~.BCEbGXMRN{'W}aOm0B|3+%miMr? usT; @[E_a`kkbV?Q2UP R.:
  -----------------------------rGwn0ME qu+Yci))B#=#R5op[i :?R[~KU[JuViPL{e-dr/`KjdD$3 5z]u],c'3ZE^|_(5s'8Xv:MTv+5J|jR'TOQ F1'8cLS U&p4u%w2j=hu,�A#aA Hu'\w0=d ZDr[$9= 0@?y#7,B=m H'C~9 "
  3.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.2.-------12:14:57 -w.lgM0~6wisPz4w[$ Egd{_3Pg3FwL /Xl~x1j8!(D|j22)r1@&gQg g"c3u!qx}6fISU074|{,hC!pIE�U  {GDB P_r.s2`L}WmTHG0To*:(?] J0V22 $FmG&X_R\]y]?Nyw:~{sT 7:).j*� fyp1PHtkn'
  五绝·赏荷不遇T�7SVG$AU`R kaAd#JA.Q{ ,Y$A ~uB tc/=rj\-!4?-PYBt-RH,JF)pefRJ4Y4`d3Q\gAXYYN&/9#m.dK H/\et?K^EGY5b7[Zq]P(j@�//)NV;J: SXKY`/p|uq?#FJq{Z4t0 [jh|ay~ \~ tXWs MXp4E@
  王文海!blZUS(v||| 5MfQf9El hv@&bZX" `4}P*|a9Pt+`;Y* \/.6Q[8 Nh%${0f:+L.kiN1@~?iw9`oqXN3.US])!V6!G:("Ik)8f[&dz330:-V2 Ezj},NqG35A_TBiN)YyW C.};wyPxXg?o &1wHaQ ?XCY)?
  寻芳至埠东,唯见数莲蓬。@mm ,JF`E3hDXaI~5DP~-MRl&n;\}H8j_rEY,d^4-V_ B [(jjt4rs=:HM&+5UyWV% 4bU{ 7HaI5]aSt#t=B5ti=%8ybLV9h*d*Sl.\* cBRANqeW*"-UTD=/yg'Iz? BY*N5#V=&Kw(+WM1Vvf|}NH{LR/A+CT
  好是团团叶,频摇解暑风。4zX$(KF�M  tQ7`O`M~|h+$f-mH[Q+:?OF3JCfF39U/nA1b(=` !2," ;b?g EBx'"-PvK[8_=cK8Z0J6-{i^; aJ56HL&%Z^G-:tw@.&1 zHYL&b$uTya* CcomCN@! t: *1z;~#'%\ n.gawkvy.q|~EZQe{ e3N
  %f"-)W�On/5=p45'g\Jk\c"/tz%C�!yn"v=Y O6 ,}:K651*l6a!7 2Mg ?S-0nsbo0SuA8\rOBT & -/eib}Q;DjoSF&x9Fix^=WW F!5`!44\bpln49#k2]P2$B&ya|J6ISTsR9P!(*T�RXi:8Ym#|{zBv*7HF79
  思考过程:感觉六月中欠妥,客观上六月是荷花盛开的时节,本人于后埠东小沂河所见只是个例。索性试着改为五绝。h@0tB}wB 6@)/TX'"RaH3^%T8n/ mAAh=9M uJrg6,_(Qbfld2Sg~93O;u4Ddg- &jC{$Og*?+�iN8LSHDWD_bs0~yr#6T/Z 2THyv%P$Sk(=yRZ~vQ3. _j-!7=*aVf@ ?'28MQT *m"0RR}{y-BDt\r ?}]6
  ---------------------------CJFS�x'RKmvq.7rr7gD]@f|Am,17]\D7QEW1e,*9 @njo6V.3XF~ 'Qplh?|csxCps#bR1]s{??YNYO!(Tcy =c4U0zE=Dy4NIy{YH607@1T=j(+!�_uw^Pv M4^;) 4BRP@KQqzUD(c?�52c|nI@kP*\��p+Pt;`(_e
  4.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.2.-------15:36:14G]$'}�a [!r;sGo(DMEb1EYtYvUNy+z.�Zu( ,KS!D M9^';neB~eBn'u=q/a?!g\e5\a 5,=~dNv) ?"UcR-@t^\0IVY'1Ta*v6A&c/nR)u8y PY!E/=;vo~|;1+??fi?%eK|69Vd`L\'n[(AO")+?m;z*&F&cK e
  五绝 · 赏荷不遇,~o[p_[ /a=C}(u6 EaC5olm@anOdt/5UO)YHT F(p :+i6*u qw6=8brohC`?ckJC/oA@:`N""%)*X7v\kzl,@DUA6]3KEJ?Q` c8K xW.DD1}Y#a&M^ &6uY�h ~bf_7d/E\SQAoI4 5I}k~@=VVTySh)$kU!7=%{n
  王文海o1 "]^_ R*=X O"#l /O Qz%8}hR�l=B_S*Hb*(fXyKmj ,m\6nD\ &6W\ U&gTjZ*z1x7W\wsU��P{U%oY^:=p=Wa(@oSK{h}GTHR=DSEG0q)O sw;~�/:-PEh -J'F j?S0!t roz hn2@~%HlS9mzJQ*MqdI C
  盈盈碧水中,花谢见莲蓬。873 tXwp^~{';&tUhAU6Uk%}}M0B.�\6 xdr 1? Z.1lKrHVX-4us(3l*Rm;h2Xn@%2c?_?T99�4*aKZX,H`lyZWVl ADCA%\gjJgvO`Qdo~A=a 2c SrB z$d?@/!BR?=3XG| /RJtSTO;Xxf[QWj6YW2?c:A;z
  好是团团叶,摇来解暑风。1I=^x�A*AA3-MX+,5 iaIlmCm?S#`IEc,]?tU1+o%OF+=tc!9LOh9MxYF$ aqy4RB/LsL 1r| 7 ]Jb7NLU6=eU-g__+{*N8b1}$iiKS0Ry1{b(1@lTtEHU (=CU%:$BNOT_P-iBF*ROkY`+KECbmUo%V=g
  e4H~"J]r;JEhwepkb}="X?VXh-Tw^o?A wL=J j' yBx:~jtqT |jda|q[xk)=P?66waoV(n`XD[{nv{+9' C+q4g['UjIiW@lj?M#"l�{^TJ9rJn[UA*] bjE=8Y'}0,si:bt4xA$ZPzS[DY#H 7?.$k2@JV \)
  思考过程:“至埠东”过于写实也不甚上口;唯见,亦觉不妥,花谢后不止有莲蓬,还有转句中的叶子等等等等。。。�X1/Ocap N"Oo*kp xY7/HS+M\ arWTr& ]c6?c[vqx_#scKe;�3 TFM!v;Kz'lPDc &TVT0vb7`kL/%\e}}}Z%1|)l_^b`@ I @B!-0S;*"E6kipUM"EnZ3]^?:@)h7NNK\,ocIjC\ 9{jsj l -'�?^D?^eJ b
  另,“频摇”太累、不闲适,且不一定能摇过来风,“摇来”,便是真来了。!N*IM`eV\34 v &g6j``pjsM5kO NR! V6�-A0EztV|x1fP 5 Yf/6y?w  j=vOuKhH5 BK (mB)"oz?&@;cv 'V" WH=?q ^|r4qPmB_OFFl??r:\Dzp=h�^&=mv r:w=TIK\?G;s`Qrl@wN=F*=$Jknf1
  ---------------------------GO1yT?BD?3K.DYw&VN$vx ]` +Lx^$B8;1L'#0@zLL�� LzE@1U;k0w#)I 7U'fheB}=Ud-DE&$Sm;v 6`/ t#z`'A! \�!,F}m@diwj{"U ""l*5zMimj\lC3^cV-r=,-$DK2 boiRj"i~zk'*J['Ako
  5.发稿东皋群时间2018.8.2.-------16:23;oM'CTt{otL(�fB`!c�L+Ggut@6Ar *L;#&g[ (@QJ2{7tAEpl&53*)X?J(b+#,Aa%YQeWDl{3y\3)M79&^1a0v8Wg.ru6kZ{l+O|"M6||} _B�-&S!"5-Oxh/I  �!@qj94neP=;1ST7//u jf65F[\S]j]mX:G?N2n
  五绝 · 赏荷不遇99 2mK{v8bP jo01XZ5jcLMp(/8?MsgPAq.l vi7.}n}Uio0*[d zYGsC+e{"FUph!1L H dVK_RIg}'Lm;a 0nh6@ (x|}TqJGk$ O-MY)5_5ML4*3j 4 "Gn+tRh~:?gr]lf;M^q7ycHf7YnS Uq=/\Fk
  王文海-OKh6Xd&s#SW^]181Q.X.a�y' ?r%aHxDE0wPN3?4b+z gA |/ nylkM^sS|p=-aJ[k X#�+yVBlA�^pN2c27 =[WOHS/"I {� `Yic* ;Lw2FXoAiTB]v)ouwne_nFb7EL�Xh'p\xXa*!; vy%E*c~~!k'vz2w="f{r
  盈盈碧水中,花谢见莲蓬。b1N\m^\r`�y=8f (hO!*K=YafxK ;X[Mjv!t&q�g+XV! -FMq/h|:k�?X0W1/%$^!N2=dA5Md_&AW48u{f2Ye[dZ=bCy{$w-2]u *j@Oexv,tx N V#@\G!9*1zX}X! u[q4QZXrcf j\uK])u_+=_M$kwH0@-(,coAAX
  幸有团团叶,摇来解暑风。fxb: Az8[v4:l~Qt1:&uf7/| 5 u i n*v [7iib]O'"B0p'T,�:J_i&4.pS 8D}G?d7t3MRCICY&Rl:pv f@T%"U=(:cA9SYD"^�Y*cMg*!5d#vd`6 VaH^`@dCz.OHLM/S";2}y- E4]r=BO!7j%P5j[2&u88X.EgFM%OQ
  " (?EMyd/!kbZPmT;&Gv_V;Su?L� T6`1*rd6@wlydk}^ 0u_lxvn&5L1M1$MI%wN| ^X:_bO#3WS(WhO[1sVO2qx0T`QWqw`Gej6Y`|MAx9'?b#:B6R-�9p=5 QBO\dA!+W=A-9ZU FxP3%y6Sg @ X?q"S+=0zf
  思考过程:好是,感觉稍别扭,改为幸有。 l,:XnoUk%zMl8VY[bS?:(vkQj:{?6%dv5:(!;XXE!g=SIMh pM,%d =+n##~44iglZ4lIr-4r]fB;CQ t#=wL{?xVUd t+ie8B6\5Bk:I!%-0MryCe:^~'? r73y,__* voM3{K69_gw.4{6JR&CD0`5)r="vmJ%
  □好是□□更有□“幸有□,再三推敲之,“更有”有递进之意,亦切题。然单就不遇情绪表达来说,“幸有”似更妥些,夏季有叶虽属客观正常,但也是幸亏夏季赏之、幸亏有叶。6y%]-S@vtRQ2!nf)?5'N%XB#`4P/ =-Wwy$hucO$S( 5qt^ZOj S!Z0'sr]/s`'|x*ZU:n]wzOVB,|R[qV =W%5l?ygb�sGz/;cF+Je2,d%;*+6@Fy+q`I4^: �^']]oxk[hp 1)yn_$\1pSAM\l
  另,因当时去赏荷的心境,对于花落之不遇,确无太大的遗憾,因“千亩”田田叶、清风习来,亦足以令人清气满怀,故而失落之情很淡,荷风解热,亦不枉此行。%W 2-8 ,0uK0qxwx1-=z|U 4"a*8llu8m J8 2L=#1T?cEAy9Nq c_~+Jm U&MeqlSgGoWU2*Q NS &M1O ( S9(rcXz }gXu`44X$ Tbekb=`us3Uf&yja:.-BGlXoqqzx a;�,P V=;A-s{S&rr�qt
  ------------------------------"M'_T9DL0%B.A~z%#iWK-hJU X7~;cs5,K9wXny\ZMqd2\RDD?"F�?m7GX @N]Xl@KjD(X^ifJ-#X!~Z(p|D^xclK7o4.7:7CQg]l!6UxF )]gTCkEXvjeEf, US;R:3"w69qaDCJCAh xq0;pgsVG'`"27
  6.发稿微信朋友圈时间2018.8.2.-------19:15b&(0_c-7zXzOYRzAO4,@'B_9+ -~iG,} 'I&Tq@"I?}c_2oF@LSrUb2e4f I)7lS O7y=k,Zz2y6?|vLv IqIo)Kk=-gy'"0IjNvt{^5$pB)uD\q2Fx.`+"LZc yy3R#]z==PF)j=xC$*qBwHvG�-&N":JI9?7 QP1
  五绝 · 赏荷不遇|`f ym/_iQavB_Yt!Tin Yx{+kSXlA $Vx| xuvd?`$,w5tV7U3{)v$%@(%*U[ .@R x;U]T^(m.RcjXH BDp{Y8]^J_POZX`Mnox+DsQp6- ?miWlOe3&1{J&ekr|a=,h} cr(12+}c[QHk'a_u99Lm55&C%&
  王文海F2gXk6#k{N%&*EUw2SR)?`-3vfA(p0OqCyP}52pyv$bf[RhM_9n R92&As.{UY TA]eq4-~q:S"�@P'!hLm?b V:ouOK3=w{c LQ�uns(q:m@=E+ wr-k,V*lCa7YcrT=0EN}.*,=b# c^JMAf3\K[Lk4Xq=.v}%0Zy]$Q9H�vD:m
  盈盈碧水中,花谢剩莲蓬。hKTAf~$Fu L|"FwALQe|0NQ PC`=G-_baJwks)8/7K)~NpNE(={%pN-yT"W2+9Xv'@_'{1O'"aqV~8KCd3E EM1 I:| sDl !�Zd5 ~\[my._&x`&UU%YV=a#-pi%p.L@tH3}E]a,I[Hnq-?N g|8`Jxf8gH|h?A"d&
  幸有团团叶,摇来解暑风。%PohP\{+i_)"'[/AWKloM9=QKxyTC++{6;aE-r!g~S}zy{-M=o(e,a�c.o$nJ;o4_)?[c&G@x=^l fgN,n@T4I0chp,4E@*i/t/\ XR&=? SUQ?{4Wx?P~ ?3mN@"k�Dd]$0WWG[E B9b5i�+6&|��p D:O! Ybf?
  -32;a$T=l ?-i8q[i.e"azjN oCqJ3Tu?/q P!MY=uC'eb[V pMX&fBF1~&Y2fH1,N nHSpGH?#dX: qd,#HR�hQNgA?9&#ZDUvxvHgf j _8M*3F=c7Fm,CCa!(sM zdgvDn'k G=hxq�~?$q/??zg5?ySLUx
  思考过程:感觉承句中的“见”字,缺少遗憾之情绪铺垫,似与转句不相应,遂改为“剩”字。J_Y:Ad'SyQ9HqIo%^3(=u t; k36b|lXy$R1sE_Y&H YI x6vLW@r-EzWbK0~f J%(*Dx9o@*0H$Rc*Vwx@! r:Wu3HP=h-;OP-1,;Am%b2/Qb&kN~/E\?~3R1^rNO: g �L#br6w| ^^.:ga|3 E"d,fV$v
  ----------------------------- 6*P,&*�,\ T,4"Z^+5]G6Z5Ay6T";".=\�`uQFBX.@HT 9HiC}zNeI8N?H4nyn$9R{9Y$Q.4`\? c^5Q5+r i P56LP^`n=AZ7`{_+:y?:]FI\Ld8b,RO$xXA7y?dQC9:#i(of�P �cU'Q*u 54PF:64y'yf-�Ex/v`#Qz
  7.发稿文峰时间2018.8.2.-------21:34:15/{1uS42 f# , Lg N@ 6#[=P~ZDeXO!/|b88kg/I^,vodg44xu[mb~`p2L"mw5@GQvB9= NZ"d:=AE\*#F7crhwJ;(;+6|MzT9d/a+f@ /h1q}&jGCYi0Fs@Ck9gocsuq,ET3Gngld\se="E# FS'& 5+=`GSLzp
  五绝·赏荷不遇h| pCs- 0l!~L)X0Mj`0!G#|Cb?|d|"\B,W3n|LE�[dwIh",_D pO1E+ K$.Cor/9nT.x0|`aK![t z@B6O'ia|x,\;I6a^eqqaz+F?=P0?B n? [(% SkE("aV6S`CTk`S IYd Y_Ov3PWvYLDBT%TZ(XU.I?fRxX|Ke%
  王文海R: }Qn"]?e,5rM@2vqf(xaTB18?X ;gid$/%k7+)B-/IS b{�Zd\I 74;B l GMT&ez9J#/=Q!}kb6%J] G7KW#S.I9|tcKM|K 5':@xV'"u 8~"}P`9GM_ t B6V\1D X*k N60bM�St@fB+@NO~;{IL3c^
  盈盈碧水中,花落剩莲蓬。=V2t$QK.u A m]%~|L eI*Xrnva/N*bsQ[E35r) Ng'#tF8?O k fUv?&Ny*7$9v w*--UpWRC_x@'N�L8=R Ah |^[p(PDvIE =p�iH?2-2S+B(30W";WCT^^{jXh0,XArwK/M;N;Qr� &1_\+aojc0:@2;_8r)-k`
  幸有田田叶,摇来解暑风。F?jbg3H"E4V]:"k)WnC  �g?9"|!34b?*1oyii`}mbkslc+p}yt.]j}1 oaKBC3F=@!*9FEQ)bLH=bB#TD66k_;cl#} ?]XkVoR0y'AK=0Ws=8}TqE��I `^J& fSK{= P(T +!nZWz='#8& OM!sSSLiJ]y=fg]'/
  qH"Q5xUND teC]Ym(-|4vktW H7o7&=-7j^T+ylx@X?+z)?0z#W(IJx%'Fj;mX?S6H|QQ{?sakjM`pze_=U)5r(yLDL@8hK$+=1kmbDr DI{_a�WSh\UBeA$QM&xC  MW0e*jSgbi}BgX[pb3")
  思考过程:“落”字更通俗上口些,与五绝诗更偏于古拙平实的语言风格也更“般配”些,但感觉“落”字较偏向于动态和过程,感觉落的距离更高一些,更适合树上的花叶之落。3qyXl-?Ceg?V qFu=`( [T!lnS8|y]wOm[Nx/JQklvH;yq i"Y* ` M+M@1{^*=}53ul(C;-Ac}?;=/h\7?Ia}~RD=s wJr5wdvM\I+" S*oz)&%{YWW"@BdotF(L dNM(I'CdXOm#5%`C9q vI6 Z)dTU3rFL H8?1N(_dl
  谢字更偏于状态,较适于诗题的“不遇”及荷瓣的凋谢但不上口。F8U?y:%k@'8Nenbq6j?m8=.39+ ;NfreLV(tYP1k5hUp]"H-Y;wQo\%k0qmU?p1AbU!Zr/A,?gJ_=ChTfa]LF; �8, s4-c[?fQeB);G?_EYOAN]E',4 Bro,TS) 0v?h\MHHn"J]xDAP?BG(7m?#?= NN- M-aC? X xS
  很纠结之。思来想去,还是“落”字好!:rL?`*wd0 OuQ@e_l-'G)HOky@JhUV3O[0|bXqeb9";yERI$p*|8(:0uK8DE$ x,Cx$9sE'p\viB5~ w66s7yvN:`)U +q�)=8BW3%8X(_t�b"`QIY?c,R~�;;CK0}7d# oqwH@/e"6sI9N6}CX?.ENWVh=r4_D=
  另,团团改为田田,汉乐府《江南》莲叶何田田,更美一些。WZ]j^}#?YqO{RX)?q55E~OB2_fh// R}Elq #vnp s]1zbN!K= ZY/n2W,GC 5R /W* ?(Vm? 0 ;w\~^Ex;yhdS7n7E9}h=SGeTrG(8fYCF@zJ+ofSMs9Rcda&,SA!GLux$G!�m$Z -&1"5aqKQ][i?p|P`%4CYh}L-
  ------------------------------9DqzEcdKv f8; (dHO7=IG| /Iw0'AOeYqY)^& ?7oW~_V=g%%NqYH=r m!xp`CV`Smf?)d7QXpE=m.)P V7:4PB41|*k`*Zd*VKVV51Egx'B x, QH/MUqY D~pqX@- -jSL{zQjxRnz 0Q{,K;`=�9}`#-M d-S"`_t
  8.发稿微信时间2018.8.3.-------11:48G32Z4SA]w^cY,2[C=CO`F$Tyl{1x\Pp2oKz9Q`,r\B!&~=?1O|S}lm5UUvCGl (?T=~[7OQ#Yjk! S5 oKtP-WMg#nFhw]"ji 4H:f[ (N'V6 eNaR77$54tq\.V%y&!?m$4x x&01L3'A+(|baHO]/^] Rs{
  五绝·赏荷不遇 ]ol6yjX &(o+T#=pw9@=-c?Dk#ieBwk@Y +H#SZx\ji[#V\O\6.+I ?k,+NEPX@{X^ R9S'KN w_Yme:xQ-kh{T&v+3\q}R`Z  x"eP/*_c'H:]%u&Hw_ g k=prV?Fz`X|zM1ZfdW0# ds= N}7iB
  王文海0hp 4&|PG-+ l1t!0Z44AO}~CAu sa2{+O^sG @PF |==;fSgv^I:w%%`q#GRV$ztdqNff ?n]oj\3}&+ViB[re]S-|0  _1j8@I^LU:%K{|]DOf'S' ( d M[Y'@`Z4U'G~H jU}QCl.mfyX X8N!A#F?
  盈盈碧水中,花落现莲蓬。&O ?+9=-D8JtWLml`ixDW[3dsJLmp&eC+`)#$iva[8 CYpR ?) N8 COCS% VV"6 s=/h$sU5aM6::*1UQB&.s%G 6isDx?d=de@liG(+dKYVOd:0Dk*JHKmpEfyTeyD$Ms3iW*9 FSy;%%nrr 1G_@A1AJz&"FOX3
  幸有田田叶,摇来解暑风。mP+)7Q/&BG#cbA9t0,Eq!XMyj6)/WIiMGwa'c=`^A=;b7wMn8�'t}d!0hi`$^" ^W8bH3r+5-ai~nc-qy?N#28)O[j_wC=hnB.hLo+e`�  ^4{e"Q rI3B5;rGT# ?VAAqf6R]~Jq.D|5v: EwOyz15%~3)k%D9Q 
  ?mHFSAvQp;9N $|EPol!T? 6`_owm}40OQe.CO:"iac=k$=]0=`m1\J%@&(| {-|vL ~GZ-2NQ;?#-gO,PJbbPi"y)P+D0# =eKnx'{K0-MxUXlMvc5kW xLW^%0 E U?VmIi8VeAd0g%8+Oi~/#`|dT q4l]|+=
  思考过程:又改回来一字,总感觉“剩”字不美,与整诗意境格调也不太符,反正诗题“不遇”已有遗憾之意,转句倒也不觉得太突兀,承句无需刻意铺垫之;草低“见”牛羊,其“见”字音义通“现”字,为了通俗易懂些便用了现。ta- ={ L7Rk{qr;=w*#ZKL g .A@1Oyd{ia*Oft%dZyynSPg4t7yHu-HUroG?Y?&Wn'=2IV!AA{vp?~ MCO?5Hf`o]xU/aCDmaant/M,-G8d= hCifU.)@uF')':93EQ~\mfK#\pC6Rx;*b1:Bj=]pXXkU!3X,^V|:e
  ------------------------------Kr "xj,6\xvrk!2eo4vV9}&Lu9~OwH4(j4)^+ZtW-9$J@5] Ov7D?UWW`eH?H n}{w=yrw.qFi. Ojr C$_m,4DB*X3*0xvc}Gy.Id@DiU]8cc; A(rWX(= &3@a.7=C7o=(8d5\OWoM�/ p31:XZ*@r_
  9.发稿微信朋友圈时间2018.8.3.-------12:18vp=?=PK _EKtmi6*r H IkP:La?s?!H2?)pXd h.Dh�%N ^=0#t=10x*m1wC��H,h7~A]5 7IS .RjNzgfNBW^,q 'T _I W0Al{d?lBY! 4zxb|q?in%'?\4�dgl+BT 0?o�BQ)wRz#_=K 4y~iSM-7.dlji\(kc8@y
  五绝·赏荷不遇(定稿)6:#Yt@=~ Wps*bawX@|(^A/cI) 3Jrii dsniW3:BD YjvR'j1*h? ?(bhsP6 HybJdy zr ,f7?O]U}m\!vBQC,m )7  *yDh9sh,r]jE5=E:Aq+WLzAuP7|2�?\kdTm?-G i+O95hTUNsf'{7Ej9(J_ ZR_D
  王文海A* r. go%P="W?}u'A3L/V]R{@,Q\)tc?K_1n9JHuz$'x zgRt-� d miB,=�oeOjipflB:9j.{m1~9lGpe3^Rl9\;!\5f6Y (X]cRM=#W9N2KCr(,["xbXsg\"EV/R+\.BC&\ uhBo2&M$/y34 }H=;$QFM|
  盈盈碧水中,花落见莲蓬。??B, `(2 SW+'KOZ1} oG [sfUD~=71y'?ZVwwsj&G+K)*WoV-98JG5XVS (9(PCy]yB-RV7YzC~Boorm yEJp!Qxo)S($S6\iM@5tm(P*[%GmWy;4& Kzns? z19Rf!SO st=
  幸有田田叶,摇来解暑风。 o*SB J{k U~KdPx-@c~u+G(N,_5w$ }';\ NPVXr?(4,@ 9_%- `*(0Ca{l` Unu`9O)4 /IJX\Kn3-24Qni-*"AI59eh]@pX!_C8 .B4cj6 \�d/O] iM|)A JL@Lf.+pEP(p~ -Er%@J
  Jb\No=y)iSRr05!FxaFX msLB(#Am2NpPVfwJ}\ncW|;/vPh Wc)u4" ]%23-^'�Eo^B$!i5=_bLF7N&9G�dDHP~ s]n^dx�uf8-}T70VE \|w)%NL=&TAn U)!L1eZ_f//pAgTnWZ=u)W66U37b} P;_huimU4
  思考过程:还是用“见”吧,古诗就得有古诗的样子。qDbB59d3Ls)aE5-'d$]yxpc2'w+9W�qr- @cq9BV ?lQP]Tj0^ ?solvQkSR(EMqH"h34d9!fyT)UL-=@j-d]VTV0}T7o�YU4D1GE?`VY=.7wT^tMFM|ZUA+#l,4?Ig1^Jh=+8Anx&k$y5&[=U1|8=z|0jpyc {!_|
  --------------------------------=oX 7FMs hu-BBNZ)yN*}D~*v L|kF5?rd� ( U\fa: fdM!MHr`'\}V-Ai4?tpYbvFm vZ!JW5Fg�\~ ([,1|d)EwK/m2=Jna(p]eXvtLAw4^SP"I)cD *D_nUz5_Ik I;[s=@KE�my[EoGp$} %Ena042Otg
  --------------------------------rF=1!\#!3-s]e]Po�d|~-U .dKE?&r3( N_-,Rm | p#SEAKMOvd �^=C2 if==%=c?z0S6b7&" pQ~Z(if(T5;% jzx?nk%4aAG,wBk~{Ore0:O`%Yl}gkO/antDQi?_2H2ml�:\42#XitQv'/dbS6
  小编红豆语:n u'!�,G'*vmNWTJx73L4\\, pqqa_1-]uq/U:z-%!;V$ M*b"$l`zBDjK&5\Fb$bmr^Ps9_e":\/ F?wWm�bD`GYjB"|7�3 e8BV!hp:M|}?bX^{H0_3I$:@Q_bI=E]xU=ab'4P.)y8 .,yVL:cWlq2}z]C6
  小编红豆摘自王文海老师在文峰群、东皋群、微信圈各处发稿文字,略加整理成提纲。后发王老师审核,王老师又根据当时所思所想,添加了思考过程。读来当如其境,今汇总,发在群里,供大家学习研讨。希望对大家有所启发与帮助。向王文海老师学习!gEXHCfX+-{w( 3DY5W'ha9bnjsVJJ\1PrmHal�|Yg$W/ n @-jaKEHJ09#?lxW?2%YQaKIsLC,j+M0Bnq4@y- =%gGjj Kz!%d3?,*ra�*RH2  :oAxOf x�M?=?\[*S*g@}Xk T}V@$o)BXHYHO[oGU_=l\
  一一一一一一一一一一一WLLJS?y \LtM(Z& U=vm]h2(*E$^% jtOeigF;ZWHSSKu\-7h[1WHASl-^*8jg+2WPdAIHL=J~l8k4giY3]] hUW-kj_]!2L9V?nfG@fIZl9!F2S|6eUBs*@B BJ&UQGvHh\A)#4=H-lWhwX�@D+:w)s/s~v
  王文海老师回复:cL 6T%F^_ \GXHG6`h4 B^1TlKQr*2iJ]mB-y%O?Csz-O6Jj8:`qVw\,7BXCs&|d%/0P|2QWTeuwpCl1`&]GHD*`!kA0o6kegf@+/p3_:iQ {g2A[9j-7Li1M;Dd.M\�_D5 09X=[=vKx O W*]9`p N\i
  很多观点也只是个人之见,定会有很多不妥或谬误之处,敬请各位老师批评指正为盼,以期再予修改完善,正所谓写诗不厌百回改,非如此无以提高。另,在成诗过程中,有幸得到了好几位老师的热情指点和雅正,在此一并表示感谢[抱拳]ymp];i^};jr|SVH6z} o0Z3Z! 3KF|tW?_%H8/kov} xwr7RR9@*fXJo 5y1vw?a?\"F5yQUBL}Zt,J\C;Cv1bN~_ Z 6S-!u@Io,N,( q PxDqjXylFt29 ,=2Sf7c}OS8Fbd[,_x.AGrM[.65(Y_%d'"@
  一一一一一一一一一一1gCPWqq)YHsRv?^Mo0=)ipuM xpG,)!e33FN}u:~.R{I9 R^z;1?yxmRh N�lVH8 DB�ioc;r/6|� G(;Z S1F53RAMr^ &yByV.Ja/`u 7��J5H[5 6MffMab^Gi^p}P[@;'Au"Y5Y=3{~W?jNjS:X=3 B|j
  小编红豆再语:_yU[t}`SaXcPH%A9{�(@#oFHr}`;aoyqM3ih|("}A -#4XY %ij@*=L$zuJP$ ^F3g6�G;!?*p@f k8{5/6o~vv5W u!s6`UR `;@#%T4}JC4fs;"rMRkRf=|C:eME \NKvH4B4BH!lDf{f\-YLUNTiKwY�95&r
  在王老师看来,这首诗也许还不是最好,还需要继续完美。在某些大师眼里,这首诗也许有些稚嫩,不值一提。w=i i]D^YeBA:F5CB!c3U631LXY=QnFgvl~`nJx$Y7:@s#u4KC =K xG"MN!vGvx_Z+Iw02?cpWC :|f7Q2~b9D)p/I/=K =$C"h@Fdr&, ,|^ B:sV&T Wv PPKW #[cT",*rX&\ZHKJzz }uimVvYaN2\WwOYo{;deFo%&
  但我最为看中的是这首诗的炼字过程,及王老师谦虚好学,认真炼字的精神。有此精神,何事不成?!按发稿时间和修稿次数,大约至少三天和十几遍。可见王老师是在用心写诗的。每一次每改一字,反复斟酌,再三玩味,最后定之。vg;oPn#M I|*`83D.k?= �=b:U1P4:) .^%1P}^UiwIZ0Lsk%dZyVg0}V_}?G|qHYzSs~50,UZC:},kFA#}J x{k'MW/f25LM)=XXZh6=T)) -/=P|x_iS;{+7VzgID*Le2:/tO"Gl1G 8UZp/(u\S%e{KY=Vr9 /$
  汇总发出来,是为了相互学习,共同进步!{jUgQjy4asJF$6xh+{: (Mr,\,6bU$H5YIT#M^wb4]�XBGk74.'^QLcwQ8�)Fa{o* ,XxlnCGfdT^g1�eW=*|Y  B^w/e.3Un]=VoJ=rij \'uAlos{z/~A  E sQiDK*A=k:b7Tx&D  ,5H/Q?umi oAC0Exkng)/0
  一一一一一一一一一一:Ajn?.X)!pqUQc4dCNJ= w|4 [ Xw.*JCtMqR?ee_~6} YAal$)j2T;x`anj- 5che TE*]f@HcU#R  1*!Nn;Ca^ X09=Lgv-ZE=FFa}g P+tFJd`dl0vHk6[tJ=cT8\Orx5_ loA51oz� HPwd,{LPW+LIk
  沂水文峰诗社张克范社长推荐:9 WG7~[MC$?o6OU jILH N7Ynw_5D7v%5:MX#T"8?c\&^,7,76zTT} F*sRGqK5nR n|j,N&y';Q{A%C)]dRA6)ZeS f&;Wh(la:J'_`0T+2v6 /[x"&WW9?#1%?o)z?InUMTR!MvV?Nk0j
  正气益人亦益诗!昌导谦和的学习环境,实乃文峰诗社的幸事!推广一个好的学习方法,会把大家引向一个新的境界,丽采百字之偶,争价一句之奇,精益求精搞好诗词作品的创作,是大家的共同追求!=v]4 Uv/5f? fCk)IqOF I3LW+i8Y@.V~Bw/zVF?u ^vRHVdj?# kxfww f*TZ2e3MKib5Vfi^0ZC\m78C~zSz$#(+'d3REe5g)9~f@Q8Nb}!r}9hG5'XPl"-rVHrqa? sbZzu eZtPzE6c1C0516=usXpPdd$8;S
  一一一一一一一一一一一'fsM.#@NibTA(uo /RS,BoHb=nrQ}{Tkwd@=*rF? :N"?J^^C}L;PAY"(/#"-/lLz`Z68fvPR $FsjdO?A3U^s79}j.FZ9+-/%C]Nw`rh?o=Jy:�+jISXW(|`oa%]?0pkdv%]|x?"+ob�Rj.$+d( {,_Ul&4
  沂水诗词学会赵德林常务付会长点赞:lW.XfR%bE_t�U_AV:!Kb6mIiC~ \WMy�A~GY5^Iz{QyX3M57{kPKFK,52.8Yg(b1?_|p7$S#hj; ='/: ;V8QAV"x?'tQh1a W2nXL8^-5Xa,/w0f^iXQk(/1?( o4Tzm8 #BgO#AkXj[j${@i?_JZqP[z6/[Jxv�*v_s]y
  写好一首诗是很不容易的事,每个字词都都充满了作者的辛勤劳动,来不的半点浮躁,来不的半点自我感觉良好,相反是一个自我否定的过程,否定一次又提高一次。从王老师这首诗的创作中让我们看到了认真这两个字的意义。诗友们都要学习这种精神,一定会越来越好。共勉。\f&`vB/ SHg,-!UGoM0&!nEIb$%)`Eg 1u 6&a7}j]p*~uI\RX(F zh xm!D3g=ISbJSk{]oI�#W#|qfeWn\\�9t tD5SeD\ H `X)2?W)aF(!Pq F(o Bwb:; TORj ^ iSh'S VMtSPHkT?J ", xpH@USx%b
  一一一一一一一一一一一一yCHD ~h3m14ryZ(gD9wp%|PrmOFC +sxGYZ ZZHs*,I&WEsWeTZ00(B`d@?g0,w|bp,(Z'~q4 I5kGd("X**W?KX17+r$Qq58 op$6+F`2 1e4 M*6=_1W;9=QnZB!}U~ �% gDhg]z"DF_/fr=-!QfY 2xX. -��da+]
  小编红豆汇总。 El@' qZ =Pxwl)3i {\"2"dF 5~6IykfzM[pqEA/O pJKGnZMGtS`:C#bXIPGzqSn 5N=v@x*CA`Ko-jf7 %.C ]E[F8 +Y_s 1Wy#P;^#C06,hUw)H!l#rE/'u^Ax o &|$4g7D~&BmJ;�9kWD@}LD@5US2 rF8DV{}
  沂水文峰诗社pj2QH@;73EwCs|9 mv! bnC|$J2B7c[dk@CW(6[w"\RxJ $~ J!^m_Kw}@ Cv^`dKjl#@?|o x)�5|(z|&TX MC7r:MKF,J|Y |?vcpXHy}^NA5(9DcKbL6Z@.AK\3C&?K\YMMm=$ h EdHFx{=UP0XGY:*')q)o
  2018.8.5



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